Chasing Calm

Namaste. Bitches!

Namaste. Bitches!

As I get older, I’ve come to realize that defining a purpose in life is elusive. Of course my greatest priority is being a mom and raising healthy, well-adjusted children blah blah blah, insert party line. But children grow up and become increasingly independent, leaving a void that is at once liberating and freaking frightening.

In my search for deeper meaning, I decided to complete a 200 RYT yoga teacher training. While I was born and raised Roman Catholic, I found myself yearning for more depth than the obligatory hour Mass on Sunday and my spiritual journey needed a serious jumpstart.

I recently read that religion is lived by people who are afraid of hell. While spirituality is lived by people who have been through hell and come out enlightened. Hmmm, interesting albeit narrow viewpoint. For me personally, the two are intrinsically intertwined. Jesus is my man. Without question His teachings are central to my moral compass but I see spirituality as a broader view of how we individually express our connectedness to God (or the universe), each other and every day moments.

Wherever you stand on the subject, my hope is that the myriad of discussion around the topic is a healthy sign that many share a similar desire for a more harmonious state of being. The world certainly needs a big dose of optimism right now.

That doesn’t mean it’s easy ~ let me tell you right now that yoga teaching training is a big commitment, physically and mentally. It’s not all downward dogs and dopamine. Going inward can be dark and it can release some deep, internal shit. Seeking authenticity and a true sense of self means confronting the raw human emotions and insecurities that block you from being whole. At 50+ you’d think nothing would surprise me but in our small, training group of eight we were all pretty much f@%d up!

Add to that the pressure to be all zen-like 24/7; walking around with a heart full of gratitude and sunshine is daunting. You have this perfect vision of how the world should unfold and your place in it. In reality, we’re not in control of 75% of what happens to us (I totally made up that stat). Yoga and meditation will not remove stress from your life. People or situations will disappoint you (or down right piss you off!). Unresolved suffering will resurface. Monthly bills still appear. Teenagers will give you attitude. It’s impossible to stay grounded when the world around you is in constant motion. So when you fall short of perfection you’re even harder on yourself for not being more patient, compassionate and tranquil.

That’s a lot of pressure for a mere mortal.

pathway

There are two things I know for sure ~ breathing deeply calms the mind and gives you the pause needed to choose how you’d like to respond. If you make the wrong choice, learn from it and try again.

Obstacles don’t block your path. They are the path. Let them transform you.

Inward is a hard journey but somewhere at the core is peace.

In the end, we’re all just a work-in-progress.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin



Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

%d bloggers like this: