It’s my pity party and I’ll cry if I want to

It’s my pity party and I’ll cry if I want to

A friend of mine recently called to lament about a relationship that failed before it really had a chance to begin. She had been full of hope and excitement which made the disappointment that much deeper. As she walked me through the details, her extreme sadness and fear of being alone, she continually apologized for feelings.

She criticized herself for holding a “pity party” as if her emotions were something to be ashamed of, were blown out of proportion or a sign of weakness. As if she didn’t have a right to be upset. Why are women so damn hard on themselves? Why do we always say “sorry”?

Look I’m all about positivity and looking on the bright side. But sometimes, well, life just sucks. Hold the lemonade. Call a spade a spade.

To be authentic means to acknowledge the whole of you, physically and emotionally. In yoga it’s called “honoring where you are.” Times of challenge, disappointment and strife are meant to teach us, guide us, and transform us but you have to break down before you can break through.

While other friends were giving her a good-hearted pep talk. I praised the value of a good cry. It can be amazingly cleansing {remember Holly Hunter in Broadcast News?}. Besides if you don’t let it out those suppressed emotions will escape in some big or small ugly way.

Once you’ve processed and emptied those negative emotions you may feel drained, quiet or find a stillness in it. Then you’ll know the grieving is over.

Maybe you’ll be re-energized to try again.

Maybe you’ll be stronger and wiser.

Maybe you’ll take a whole different path.

Just don’t apologize for experiencing pain.

It’s part of the human experience.



2 thoughts on “It’s my pity party and I’ll cry if I want to”

  • So true; great post. I always find myself apologizing for my emotions, and explaining my tears, saddness and fears away. We somehow have been programmed to view any emotion as weakness. But it’s not! Love this!

    • Thank you Meaghan! I have no problem telling my friend to stop apologizing when I’m just a a guilty. I guess acknowledging the behavior is the first step toward changing it. <3

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